I have reached the limit of my patience. A never ending list of stresses, anxiety, worry continues. Praying has no effect on this. I am wasting my time. All I want is PEACE, HAPPINESS, FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE. Is this so hard to be given to me? A narcissistic/selfish mother, never ending nonsense of my uncle’s will, my own borderline personality disorder, my anxiety, my fears, ALL has made me feel abandoned by any deity. I give up on prayer, I am ALWAYS ignored. I must live an atheist life. It is the only way forward.